the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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