Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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