"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
This gyro tastes like lonliness
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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