the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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