dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
