Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
