He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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