omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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