I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
