12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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