Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
