I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
