I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
