Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
