i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
