If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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