anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
