I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
