Swine flu. Run for my life!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
is it fun? or sober?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
