i would punch a child for taco bell
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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