so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
