dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
