I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
