Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
