dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
