all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
