I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
