she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
