sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize