I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
