her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Acid is not a monday night drug
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
