I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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