It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
