Plan B is the new Plan A
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
