a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
