six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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