we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
