you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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