At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
