My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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