Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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