I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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