My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
