She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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