I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
and she was petting her beer can
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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