...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
