You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
