Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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