that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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