I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
