I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
