I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
