Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize