Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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