before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
