Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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