I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
