Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just gift wrapped bread.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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