'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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