I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
not ubering you a puppy
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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