WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
