I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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