Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
