I bet he comes in French.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
