I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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