we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
