TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
