i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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