why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
