we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Too much gin, very little bucket
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize