Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
