I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
