I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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